the beginning of the end
by angelofdeath1119
Summary: "Are these tears in my eyes as I stare, I stare so emptily, at his body, broken and mangled and detestable, oh, this is not my onii-chan! There's a hole in his head, like a third eye staring at me, limitless darkness. Help! Help me... help onii-chan!"


**A/N: **Story should have been set somewhere after Chapter 323.

**Original Word Count (OWC) : **1,754 words

**WARNING: **Death.

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><p>"If we dissolve without a trace, will the Real World even care?"<p>

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><p><em>"Onii-chan, die for me?"<em>

_"Yeah, sure."_

**BANG!**

Onii-chan is bleeding. Onii-chan... Onii-chan is _bleeding_. Help me! Don't just stand there! Do something! Please, please, help me! The stale, damp air smells like his sweet cherry blood and it's on me, sticky and warm and steel, oh, it's on me, on my clothes and on my hands, my face, my hair! Onii-chan is bleeding! I don't know what to do, what do I do, what do I do? Are these tears in my eyes as I stare, I stare so emptily, at his body, broken and mangled and detestable, oh, this is not my onii-chan! There's a hole in his head, like a third eye staring at me, limitless darkness. Help! Help me... help onii-chan!

I'm trembling. I'm trembling in fear. What is this? What is this feeling overcoming me? I don't know, I don't know. Onii-chan—I can ask him, he's always been the one to answer my questions, always, only he has the patience. Like a cold shiver, it's running up my spine, down my spine, running, smooth, fast, like ice cubes...no, more like electricity, butterflies, attacking my skin, oh, how it hurts, how it tickles! I've lost all thoughts, which one should I feel stronger in my heart, which, oh, but somehow it feels good, both sensations. It's like that day when he left, when he told me he'd leave, ah, I'm feeling it again. The pain and its joy.

Don't leave me! No! Onii-chan! Onii-chaaan! Maybe I should scream, maybe the louder I scream maybe he'll hear me and then he'll wake up! He's just sleeping, isn't he? My onii-chan won't go that easily. Onii-chan! Onii-chan, wake uuuup!

Stop! What are you doing? Don't touch him! No, you can't do anything! There's nothing you can do! Nothing I can do! No one else can! No one but my onii-chan! Help onii-chan! What do I do? What can you do? Onii-chan!

...

What is this silence? Why? Why? Help him, help him! My onii-chan! No, he's just returned, no! Why are you taking him away from me again?

What happened? What happened? Oh, I barely hear his words as they come out of his mouth as _it _goes over me. Washing over me like a storm, like an angry wave to smooth the rough rocks, refreshingly as it always does, again and again, to do what it has to do, oh, like it always have, since the day I was formed, like a ritual, a habit. Onii-chan's wish is something I can grant. And immediately it does happen. It's easy, oh, so easy if it's for Onii-chan, I love him so much. Onii-chan laughs—onii-chan laughs for the first time genuinely, oh, his laugh sounds like the pealing of little bells, like I remember, or is it mine I'm hearing?—and I beg, I beg, I beg him, "Onii-chan, please stay with me, a bit longer."

How I've missed onii-chan! I have lost track of the years the months the weeks the days the hours that had passed when he left me; was it so long, was it? All I want is to embrace him and I did so, and Onii-chan can only follow me because as I believe he too, misses me. I don't want to let him go, no, never! There's no doubt in his eyes as I take him in my arms and I giggle, oh, onii-chan, it smells like onii-chan!

"Onii-chan, let's play jajanken, jajankenpon, please, please?" I ask him, and he does so. Onii-chan sucks at jajanken, he sucks like vacuums. Onii-chan can only succumb to failure for rounds on end as I beat him again and again. I laugh, this is the easiest game to play with him, this game is his weak spot. Oh, what can paper do to scissors? What can scissors do to rock? Or rock to paper? I laugh, heartily as I go, my childhood repeated, and I wish I can stay, I wish I can.

But everything goes black! And I don't want Onii-chan to leave yet, I don't want to leave yet, but he's about to make his second wish. Onii-chan, please! No, no, no! Killua will never leave me again, Killua will stay here forever and I will make that sure! Killua tenses and I know, and knowing felt like swimming in a waterfall, oh, so cool, so fresh, so fine. I know he knows, but I don't even mind anymore. He understands. He is my older brother, and he knows me best! "Killua, Killua, never leave me again. Forever. Don't leave your _imouto _alone, no longer, stay here, forever..."

He shakes his head, he can't, he says, even though I know he can. But I know, I know Killua knows. But maybe he's misunderstanding. No, I am still Alluka. I have always been—we're one and the same! But why then, why, is there fear in his eyes? Am I the monster he sees, the monster that feasts inside his sister's body, slowly eating her away? But _I_ am his sister! He shakes his head again, shaking away the fear most probably, and he says slowly, his voice being the music in my ear, my only savior—"I can't do that."

I am Alluka and I must persist. No, he can never resist me, for I love Killua as he loves me back. We're siblings, and I love him so, oh, I never want him away from me not anymore, after so long! "Oh, is that so?" My own head cocked to the side, I wonder, and I wonder again. What has happened? I can almost hear the blood pulsing through his wrists from his heart, oh, so fast, so alive! "Then kill Gon. Killua, kill Gon. Do it for your _imouto, _please, Onii-chan?" I'll try again and again. Killua is my brother and he loves me right? He'll do everything for me. He told me that, he'd even die for me. And I love him as well. Killua is my brother and I am not letting him go. Not anymore!

His eyes are widening. He knows, probably, that his time is running out as well. _Shit, _he thinks; I am probably reading his thoughts now. It's splattered easily across his handsome face, oh, to me Killua is like an open book. He has always been, we've always been close. _I haven't even made a second wish yet. How do you know these things? What's happening, Alluka? _"I can't do that," he says tentatively, trying to buy time, oh, silly boy with his useless, useless time, he's trying so hard even though he knows the screen is flashing 'game over'. Killua, Killua, you. "He's my best friend," he explains, but it falls on my empty ears. Is my own brother betraying me? For his friends? But I am his sibling! Then why?

"Killua," I try again, I try, I beg for his return, back to being my brother, my beloved brother—"Killua, kill Kurapika, for me."

He shakes his head, forcibly now, he doesn't like arguing with me. I am, after all, Alluka. He loves me, but is he weighing my worth with his friends? No! I was his first friend! Killua is mine, and mine alone. I'm never letting him go! His eyebrows are narrowed now, his eyes burning with a kind of passion that drives me insane. My brother, this is him! "Tch! I can't do that! Alluka, what's wrong with you?"

I sense it, I sense the tears gathering at the corner of his eyes, yes, he's regretting. He'll stay with Alluka forever now, Alluka, for you I am happy. Killua is my brother and he'll forever be mine, I love him so much, oh I do, I'm never letting him go, no, not yet!

I move toward him—this is the last try he'll get, no, before everything ends, before time runs out. Don't give in, Killua, my brother! My eyes, they haven't even turned black yet, no, not yet black. I'm doing all I can, fighting back for Onii-chan, but dear, I have lost all my patience, all my patience, it's running thin, oh no, it is! "Onii-chan..." I chant, oh, I who desires to have him as my own so badly. "Onii-chan! Kill me, hurry!"

And Killua has tears in his eyes, pearlescent drops of beady salty tears that had collected themselves. Is this how he's going to greet me farewell? Onii-chan, you can't do this to yourself! No! No! Don't give up yet, it's too early in the battle! But it seems he had placed the fate on himself! This would be the end of him, oh, you fool, why? Why that I have you now? "I'd rather kill myself! Monster!" he screams, oh, his voice sounds like a symphony, it's beautiful, oh. It reeks like the death he basked in as a child and will forever be doused in where he rots. The blood, pulsating. "Take me but don't take any other! You monster! What have you done with my sister?"

Oh, he does not believe me! My dearest Killlua is not taking me seriously. The Killua I trust and grew up with! What has changed? What has his friends done to him? Oh, I want him back! I try to argue with him, "Onii-chan, you'd said you'd die for me right?" But Alluka is fighting back with me, she's trying to fight, oh, she is, but she's too weak, she's far too weak, she can't do anything, she's just too weak, just as pathetic. What Onii-chan? Killua is mine, and forever will be mine. Alluka had sold her soul to the devil!

And I raise what I have and everything ends in that millisecond, and onii-chan is on the floor and it's because I couldn't do anything, everything ended because I couldn't fight, no, I couldn't, not the devil within me, not even for onii-chan.

I am the monster that killed him.

_"Onii-chan, die for me?"_

_"Yeah, sure."_

**BANG!**

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><p>Hunter x Hunter<strong> (c) Yoshihiro Togashi<br>"The Real World" [from "All Things Bright and Beautiful" album] **(c)**Owl City**

**Review please :3**


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